tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
