you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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