we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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