Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize