I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Terrible idea I love it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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