Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
