You're earring is so big in my mouth
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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