After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
