I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
