Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize