im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
