He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
