I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
