Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
