just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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