Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
