He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
