Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
