Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I would ride that face into the sunset
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
