ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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