she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she peed on how many people?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
