he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
