You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
