I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
