thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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