none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
