My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
