Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
