smell my finger.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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