Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well I just put wine in my tea
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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