Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My ATM looks so different sober.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
