Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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