her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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