Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
