South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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