just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize