I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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