My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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