there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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