Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
