judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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