I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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