I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
