we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
