How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
