9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
