you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
