I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
