I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
