:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize