dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
