Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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