I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
