Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
