you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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