Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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