he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Houston, we have a squirter
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
