I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
