My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
