does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
