what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
