And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
