She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
