susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
